Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts

Thursday, 5 December 2013

Life

My life. Right now.. very interesting, very two faced. One day right one day wrong. Everything up in the air, not thought about, everything used without a thought. Confusing. Is this how it's meant to be? How is a black and white seeing person meant to survive without being judgemental? how do they stay open? I just want to know what to do. How to fix my life. How to be happy. Not much to ask? Apparently. Yeah I know life isn't kind. And I know that it's meant to make you stronger. But what about being free? What about not having to worry? Yeah I know that God is meant to fix that. But then how come it's so hard to get close to him? how come you are always drifting back and forth? And I know I don't have time for this, for crying and weeping over myself. There are people out there who are ripped in two and bleeding. Who are trying to cover it up.

How come I want to heal stuff and instead I am shredding things to pieces?

Wednesday, 15 May 2013

our world

In these past to days I've been thinking about, well the situation in the world. Some of you probably know this but we are so terribly behind the times with any sort of news.
So for starters I didn't know that  the british crown wanted to reduce the world population to 1 billion to bring back under British rule. And the Prince and Queen have made this statement several times. How would they do this through the banks (in a hazelnut-shell) causing mass starvation.
I have heard a lot about banks myself but I was surprised that the rumor of mass murder could be achievable.

So I was thinking -what on earth do we do about that? Do we stock up on food and live in fear? Well the food bit might help, but then this is all self preservation. In that case do we employ all our money and hire an airplane and go round the restaurants and collect the 'pig food' and fly it off to those who are already starving in africa? But this even though it would make a world of a difference for them, we in theory would be treating them like monkeys, they are human they deserve the same as us. But then you go back to the idea of communism -which obviously doesn't work with selfish mankind.
So what do you do?
love- pour yourself out daily thinking -even in your own state of starvation, thinking only of what this would mean for the other person. Giving out in the face of mass murder for no gain -for almost no reason except that these people are beloved -God's passionate about them. That they deserve -or not deserve to see an inch of love and through this show Daddy/God can do so much more.  And in thinking this I was overwhelmed with the strength and sheer determination and trust in God this would take. I also know that this mayn't play out in my life time, but in the likelihood  of something happening      I can only hope that I can out just a tiny bit of this ideal. I guess we can practice. As I type people are starting out work - the most demoralizing kind there is, prostitution. In which they expose themselves to goodness knows who, for some money that requires being dominated by the unpredictable stronger sex.     And this is happening (at the most) an hour away from where I live.  


pictures meant to be coming

Wednesday, 10 April 2013

Me Today


Today: April 10th, 2013

Outside my window: Chick/Chickens digging in the garden, tuna pink and aqua blue sky- Its dusk and getting cold
I am thinking: about what to write for JOJ -truly

I am thankful for: the wedding that's coming up, that my friend has been to a wonderful wedding in America

From the kitchen: ah.. not much, I made tea several days ago- forgot what though. 

I am wearing: my normal black pants, with a sea green top

I am creating:bunting for the wedding

I am going: ah.. count cars from 8am-5pm tomorrow

I am reading: The Moral Revoultion, very interesting. And the Bible :)

I am hoping: That Esther will get back safely. That Petra's jelly will work out -coca cola

I am hearing: The kettle boiling, and Mum tipping water on the garden

I am pondering: Trusting and obeying... all we have to do... so easy, so hard

My goals: To act in a passionate love to others, not out of duty. And to do all this when my heart is breaking...Daddy!



Saturday, 16 March 2013

God is everywhere

Last night I went to a combined youth group with all the New Life youth groups in our area. It was the strangest thing ever! There was a small group of us that went there with Cyrus and Naomi. At first it was really over-whelming like there were tons of young people some of them were giving each other piggy-back rides others, sucking lollipops it was pretty crazy. We just kinda stayed in the corner going yeah... ok.... um.... I was pretty uncomfortable a few people who knew C and N came up -the more sensible people. Our little group of "sane"home-schoolers just stood and stared.

After a little bit we all went into the hall room and took our seats which had a pen and paper on each one. Then one of the Youth pastors said we were gonna have some games... (I'd met the youth pastors before and they were just amazing, on fire for God Christians) We were told that out of the paper we had to make the fastest paper dart and put our name on it and throw it to the front... It was awesome! Darts were flying absolutely everywhere! Then they asked for three girl volunteers and three guys. They "partnered up" and then each "couple" had to decided who would eat. The eaters were sat down. A competetion was set and their "feeders" started to bring live after live hu-hu grub. The eaters swallow them down with effort. After that another set of three couples were chosen and the guys made to sit down while the girls pinned as many pegs as they could on to their partner's faces (end result was 15, 16, 15 pegs)

Then they had worship. How on earth do you do that when over half of the teens weren't Christian? It was madness. Some of the people were up the front praising God the others outside, texting or just galloping over the chairs. I was like... "God, how does this work?". But somehow it did somehow God was there and he was telling me that "I (God this is) can work anywhere. I'm not confined to their culture. I love each one of these people don't judge them- I have bought them in." I remembered this testimony that a guy had: In his dream there was a church and it was full of drunks, drug addicts and prostitutes - how were making out in the pews. The man then starting shouting at them telling them to get out. How dare they defile the house of God. Then God spoke to him and said "Don't send out what I have sent in." That hit him like a ton of bricks. And it hit me too, in that situation - Jesus always seemed to be in the company of prostitutes and tax collectors... he always went to the sick and healed them - as he said he came to heal those who needed healing teach those who were unlearned.

And I was just like....WOW! After that though I got distracted I tried to put my eyes on Him and not on the people who were ignoring Him. Honestly that night was Amazing! The message was about our relationship with God - that we shouldn't settle for less that we should see how much we can know Him in this short time on earth. Then they had even more worship everything seemed to be going up, up, up. And I know it wasn't emotional hype because I was very aware of not.. well I was just praising Jesus who had sent these teens here for some reason and he knew what He was doing even if half of them were already outside. And I honestly wasn't this amazing goody-goody who was only praising God - I got frustrated at Him for some of the things that have been happening to me that I just don't understand. At one time God just shook me (not literally but like a friend does when they're trying the get something across) and said "You're worth something to me! stop thinking you aren't!"I got prayed for by several people and one person was like I think God really wants you to know that you are really beautiful and I also think He wants to just hang out with you, rather than me praying for you to have a deeper revelation of Him. That night was really speacial and really strange - I want to go again even if I get slightly deaf in one ear again ;)
<3 Tiffany             

Thursday, 28 February 2013

Frustrations

Just recently I've been thinking. Thinking about a lot of things
like why are we still here? If God has so much in supply what on earth are we doing here? Staying where it is nice and comfortable - when human trafficking has reached 27 million.
Why aren't we taking to heart what Jesus said? He told his disciples to go -with only the clothing on their backs. Why don't we give scandalously?

There are other things like -why do we go to church every Sunday, to get encouraged when we are given encouragement to encourage others - there never seems enough time between Monday and Saturday. Why aren't we doing anything? Why does everything have to be so P.C?
Jesus said to go free the lost- since when did material things come into that?

But I know that we aren't perfect. But every person could do so much. and yes we're all on different levels of selfishness. But God? Doesn't that mean something? If he supplies all- why is there such a thing as normal? Why on earth do we wait? Why don't we love passionately?
Why don't we teach children to give? 
- I guess Jesus just came to seek and save the lost, not to make the earth perfect. Why do people let themselves be bogged down- why does fear exist? Why don't people reach out and say that there is a meaning to life? Why aren't we listening to God? Why does God let us do this? I guess we will know when we get to heaven? Why on earth do we have to wait that 
long? Why do we try and scramble for God just to make us feel better?

I guess I just typed the Christian ideal, but this is what I was thinking about on Sunday. But there was several things I realized after hounding about our imperfections one of them was that we need to strengthen people regardless of what they do to us. 
That of course is really hard and I might get there one day - but it is what Jesus does.
But one thing is for sure I would far rather walk on water with my Jesus than grow old in a rocking chair wishing I had. And there will be times when I'll be a Bilbo Baggins and wish for my nice cosy home. But for the moment as this song says I don't want to go through the motions.  
  
The Motions
This might hurt, it's not safe
But I know that I've gotta make a change
I don't care if I break
At least I'll be feeling something

‘Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of life

I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
Without Your all consuming passion inside of me

I don't wanna spend my whole life asking
What if I had given everything 
Instead of going through the motions?

No regrets, not this time
I'm gonna let my heart defeat my mind 
Let Your love make me whole
I think I'm finally feeling something

‘Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of this life

‘Cause I don't wanna go through the motions 
I don't wanna go one more day
Without your all consuming passion inside of me

I don't wanna spend my whole life asking 
What if I had given everything 
Instead of going through the motions?

Take me all the way
(Take me all the way)
Take me all the way
(‘Cause I don't wanna go through the motions)
Take me all the way
(Lord, I'm finally feeling something real)
Take me all the way

I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
Without Your all consuming passion inside of me

I don't wanna spend my whole life asking 
What if I had given everything 
Instead of going through the motions?

I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
Without Your all consuming passion inside of me

I don't wanna spend my whole life asking 
What if I had given everything 
Instead of going through the motions?
Take me all the way
(Take me all the way)
Take me all the way
(I don't wanna go, I don't wanna go)

Take me all the way
(Through the motions)
Take me all the way

I don't wanna go through the motions
-Matthew West



Saturday, 8 September 2012

Part two

For all those who could wait for the next one [I'm included]

The Battle Surrendered    Part Two     Storyteller SilverLoom   
    The next thing I knew, I was blinking as if I had just woken up and saw that I was no longer in my bedroom.
     The eerie light was gone. The shadow creatures were gone. I was completely alone in a dark, damp prison. The only light in the place filtered in from a crack far above me. Someone had chained my ankles and wrists to the stone floor of the dungeon. I had a vague memory of the creatures telling me to chain myself up.
     Now I realized just how dumb I had been to follow the shadow creatures. “Hello?” I called. No answer except for the constant dripping of water from a corner of my prison. “Hey! Let me go! Get me out of here!” I yelled. Was it my imagination, or did I hear malicious laughter coming from the darker parts of the dungeon?
     My heart pounded with fear. I had never thought something like this could happen to me. This sort of thing only happened to people in books. It wasn’t supposed to happen in real life.
     A scream welled up inside of me and I let it go, along with a torrent of tears. The worst part of it was that I knew I had put myself in this place; that I hadn’t fought hard enough.
     I curled up on the cold stone floor and sobbed. Then I called for the only One who could hear me. “God, please… please help me! I don’t know where I am! I shouldn’t have given in. Please! Help me!”
     As my tears fell afresh, the light from the crack in the wall suddenly disappeared. I stopped mid-sob and froze. I even held my breath.
     A voice reverberated off the solid walls of my prison. “Hello, down there!”
     I looked up at the crack. The face of a man stared back at me, his head almost completely covering the crack. He had the widest smile I had ever seen. “Not the most comfortable place to live, I’d say,” he remarked in a friendly manner.
     I wiped my teary eyes with my pajama sleeve. “Can… can you get me out?” I stammered. I felt reluctant to trust this guy, afraid this was another trap.
     His smile grew even larger. “That’s what I came here to do; to help you out." His face drew back from the hole as he stood.
     I waited while he hacked away at the stone, making the crack large enough for him to crawl through. It was a few minutes before I realized that he was using his sword to send the bricks of my prison tumbling down. That was one strong blade.
     Finally, he secured a rope outside the dungeon and used it to climb down through the gap he had made. He looked like a prince out of a fairy tale; dressed from head to toe in white stitched with gold thread, a voluminous cape thrown over his shoulders.
     When he stood in front of me, I lifted my shackled wrists up and said wistfully, “I’m chained. I don’t know where the key is.”...

And that's all for now more tomorrow ;P
-Miss Tiffany

Wednesday, 5 September 2012

Greetings, me wee guinea pigs!

I've got some reading for you: How 'bout dat? [ uh english please! how about that]

So strong it brings many to their knees, so gripping it leaves one empty.
Like water it fills a well but leaves it dry with thirst. It is demanding.
Like a story that can never be told, a story that that can never be expressed.A story that has incredible power that only the witnesses can dream of retelling. It is unexplainable. It carves out one's heart, it is like a strong wind, it is so big, it is so un-describe-able, how can it ever be put into words? It bursts through walls of iron as if they were made of feathers: It can not be stopped. Some maybe afraid of its rising tide, but I am not. It is so un-contain-able, yes so very terrible, words can not express the thunder of its coming, or the pin drop silence that place when the Master comes, when the hem of the His robe brushes a human's heart, the burning desire for Him that only He can awake. The beauty of its voice. The great honor of of its calling. The immense power, the huge-ness. The GRACE!!. The vastness. It crushes the universe with blinding light. It is so mysterious, it leaves the watcher in tears.To see this is an incredible honor, that can be seen... for free!
It is not to be taken lightly, it takes the broken, the unqualified, the outcast, the shamed and shunned. It takes their pain away, such a beautiful release, such undeserved grace.It can't be compared to anything   ....ever. Without a price!                  
  
It pulls, it tugs, it unravels an adventure, takes the elderly over mountains the children over seas.It falls like rain. Those in its rising flood, turn to those in the desert "Won't you come?! Taste of the rain! Feel the surge of the water! Wade into its unfathomed depths.
Drown in the swells! Here you fear nothing, you need not bring anything except yourselves. Be prepared to change in strange ways.
Oh, sink in the waters of love!"

For it is love that topples many, that sweeps through and leaves one longing for more.Love that tells a story that can never be retold, it craves out the heart with longing; it drives like the wind, it is so large, one can easily lose oneself. Love flies through
every defense. Some are afraid of its changing powers, but the ones who have tasted aren't, no one should, the love is un-hate-able.

Love can never be captured, yet it was nailed to a tree, it is so terrible, terribly magnificent. From the nails blood ran, like water; love can never be stopped. The sweetness of love's voice whispers "Father...forgive"

Without love the earth trembles and breaks mourning its loss to the skies that have lost all color, all light, all stars and moon.
Sweltering blackness has fallen. All suffocates in its thick tangible flow. All can that be seen is a trickle of blood , the trickle of life
the trickle of love ... dying.

Frigid tensions run through the skies agonizing groans ripple through the earth, the surface between is paralysed with fear.
For three risings of the sun the world os empty of life, is stripped of its essence. The earth cries out in grief. The people are the only ones unaware that the universe is in its death throws. They wake on their Sabbat to worship a dead love.

In another world love enters. A kingdom black, heavy, soaked in evil. A place where blood is the water. A place that has never known love. A place reeking with hate, murder. A place where the sun was too scared to rise... the land of fear.
Then like the ripping of curtains, like the crashing of thunder, like a fork of lighting. Love enters, the first rays of its liberating dawn span across a wasted landscape. A delightful aroma arises like steam. Darkness flees, things begin to grow, the sewers of blood vanish. Life has arrived. In the middle of this land is a towering mountain atop of this is an empty pool, Love lands on the  east side of this, the angel of light [ The devil was an angel + most people wouldn't listen to something devil-ish looking I picture him like so:] with dark blood dripping from his hands, the prince of darkness, crouches on the other side. Into the pool bright blood pours: flowing from the one named Love. The dark Prince trembles and hands Love an ancient looking pair of keys.
"Love" leaves the land. Darkness returns.

On earth it is the hours before light. The weary earth will yet again see a lifeless sun rise, the plants will another day suffocate
with its dying presence. Yet the people are unaware that this day the curtain will tear, that from this day the earth will never be the same again. And yet shepherds lie by their sheep and kings by their treasure -sleeping! 

The sky lightens to a deep purple. A breeze blows across the earth. The trees, plants waters and oceans stir beneath its power.
The wind carries a secret; a promise of change.

And then light, blinding light, rips across the land. You can almost hear the universe laughing with unimaginable joy. The ocean dance frenzied dances of happiness,the earth rumbles with delight and the sky shouts out its pleasure. The very air jumps with excitement.
Love has returned!
It's still hear, right now. Unknown to most is its power, its force and its name: Jesus.
Some are still in the desert of darkness, some are still slaves to another world to a dark force.
Few are in the rain of love, few feel its strong insistent pull.But it is there for anyone should they just see what 
"love" has done for them and repent of their sins, freedom is there, joy is there, peace is there for the broken who ask

So what think you?
Impatiently awaiting your comments
-Tiffany