Life

My life. Right now.. very interesting, very two faced. One day right one day wrong. Everything up in the air, not thought about, everything used without a thought. Confusing. Is this how it's meant to be? How is a black and white seeing person meant to survive without being judgemental? how do they stay open? I just want to know what to do. How to fix my life. How to be happy. Not much to ask? Apparently. Yeah I know life isn't kind. And I know that it's meant to make you stronger. But what about being free? What about not having to worry? Yeah I know that God is meant to fix that. But then how come it's so hard to get close to him? how come you are always drifting back and forth? And I know I don't have time for this, for crying and weeping over myself. There are people out there who are ripped in two and bleeding. Who are trying to cover it up.

How come I want to heal stuff and instead I am shredding things to pieces?

For those who got a bit panicked

yeah,yeah, I wasn't at DB.On Sunday I got sick, the right side of my body went numb and felt heavy, I couldn't walk properly and I couldn't straighten my right ring finger, I couldn't think, or talk properly it was really scary, and I started thinking would I ever be able to move the right side of my body again.We were still at choir so Dad, Nick and Perrine prayed for me they all looked really worried, the numbing then left my body and went to my head [Don't ever forget to pray!Especially with other people!!] Mum came from home and we decided to go to the doctors because they though I'd had a stroke.That was really scary, people die of them, I was thinking this day has completely turning around, they were saying I might have to go to hospital, great again, already having flash-backs.It turned out to be hiperventaltion -common what a relief- some people completely freeze up.The simtims are similar to a  stroke though.We went to Naomi's for tea and thats what I threw up.Felt bad Monday stayed in bed the whole day sleeping and reading.I pretty much fine now 'cepting a sorish throat.

By the way its really freaky knowing exactly what you want to say but it coming out completely different.

Tiffany