Interesting title?
Probably confusing, I am talking of the words that get over-used in little ones stories [big ones too] eg
"We went shopping, then we went to the car, then we went to Aunt Mary's, we got big cookies Aunt Mary said we could have five, Mum said we could have two, Lily said she didn't want any I said I would have all of hers, Katie said she would have mine and hers."
Pretty bad, huh. Another way:
"Katie, Lily, Mum and I arrived at Aunt Mary's after doing our shopping.Aunt Mary gave us a large chocolate chip cookie, she told us that we could have five each.Mum disagreed, we could have two each.Lily doesn't like cookies so I asked her if I could have hers, but Katie proclaimed that she would have mine and hers."
Which do you like better?
I'm afraid they're both very rough.
At DB we are encouraged to do the second, probably cause we all started with the first.But I've learnt something new and logical; a combination between the two.
When someone is reading a book they skip over words like said, went, then, even asked or come!
That's if its not used constantly. Words like disagreed [slightly] delicious, following and inquired draw more attention to themselves than said, good, then or asked.
So if your characters aren't doing anything hugely important, said words maybe used.But if your heroine is being kidnapped, you would need to describe her abductors voice as it would add to the scene.In other words if you want your reader to notice something, lay on the description.If it's not important that she's speaking to Aunt Mary then you may use said, but not constantly.
Hope that makes sense
Miss Tiffany
Probably confusing, I am talking of the words that get over-used in little ones stories [big ones too] eg
"We went shopping, then we went to the car, then we went to Aunt Mary's, we got big cookies Aunt Mary said we could have five, Mum said we could have two, Lily said she didn't want any I said I would have all of hers, Katie said she would have mine and hers."
Pretty bad, huh. Another way:
"Katie, Lily, Mum and I arrived at Aunt Mary's after doing our shopping.Aunt Mary gave us a large chocolate chip cookie, she told us that we could have five each.Mum disagreed, we could have two each.Lily doesn't like cookies so I asked her if I could have hers, but Katie proclaimed that she would have mine and hers."
Which do you like better?
I'm afraid they're both very rough.
At DB we are encouraged to do the second, probably cause we all started with the first.But I've learnt something new and logical; a combination between the two.
When someone is reading a book they skip over words like said, went, then, even asked or come!
That's if its not used constantly. Words like disagreed [slightly] delicious, following and inquired draw more attention to themselves than said, good, then or asked.
So if your characters aren't doing anything hugely important, said words maybe used.But if your heroine is being kidnapped, you would need to describe her abductors voice as it would add to the scene.In other words if you want your reader to notice something, lay on the description.If it's not important that she's speaking to Aunt Mary then you may use said, but not constantly.
Hope that makes sense
Miss Tiffany
