A strange life

Christianity

How are we meant to live with a name so mangled? This religion that has a history so marked?

We are so human…

Atheism vs Christianity google an article on either and you’ll see ragged back lashing from either side. Except the Christians claim to love them, Christians say it, but don’t seem to show it.

Where is Jesus?

I am a 17 year old girl living in rural New Zealand.  A backwater compared to the rest of the world I’m sure. I spend most of my time studying and working, realizing that this what is expected of a middle class woman and that I’ll probably be doing one or the other for the rest of my life.

How does this all relate? I’m not sure; maybe it’s a young person who’s trying to point out what is wrong in the world, what’s wrong with her religion, and what’s mixed up in the fact that in the academic world my opinion is nothing. That my life must somehow be the same because I don’t have enough money for a P.H.D. the only thing that lets you have an opinion.

That because I am a ‘good Christian girl” nobody is ever going to want my advice, my help, or my words.  That because I've never been raped, tortured, attempted suicide or been beaten I can’t legitimately help in things I believe need it the most. That no prostitute is ever going to listen to me because I know nothing. And maybe things are meant to be that way. Maybe I’ll live my life, get a job, get a house, get married have kids and die in a rest home.   

Or maybe there is a God out there who is bigger than my circumstances, who say it doesn't have to be that way. That it could be a lot more adventurous, a lot more giving and a whole lot harder.

Or maybe I’m meant to wait in a pew until I get my calling thrust upon me.

I’m pretty sure the guy who said give yourself as living sacrifice didn't have passive waiting in mind. Not that waiting is a bad thing. But for me it’s never really worked.

I guess what I am saying to myself and every Christian out there is we have to do something real. Regardless of the fact that someday the world will end. Regardless of the fact that goodness and heaven are somehow linked.  We have to find it in ourselves to reach out for the good of ourselves and the good of the world.

Rant over

Whistful dreaming

Imagine setting off for distant lands. To where the wind howls sharply, and snow ices the ground for months. Where no food tastes the same. Where languages are different.
Where you can walk right over the border and be in a different world.

Imagine that...

I mean New Zealand is alright in itself, it's all I've ever known. But what's over that mountain? What's across that sea? Ah, wanderlust...just wait and see

Bits and bobs

I'm just writing down some interesting ponderings about stuff I learnt to day.

In search of truth.

Wouldn't it be nice if we knew somethings were absolutely true. I don't mean things like did God create the universe. But things like is being doggedly positive about everything Christian/Buddhism, Christian or Buddhism ;) get your head around that one. Ok I'll ease it up... Do you think "pain free births" are for Christians or is it an influence from an Eastern Religion? hmmm... I don't actually know... sounds Buddhist to me (as in everything is an illusion type stuff) but at the end of the day it isn't important (well definitely not for me ;D ) *

But it would be really nice if Jesus just said" Missy you're doing real well there.... and well this needs fixing." A kind of Rev 2 & 3 re-enactment. Well that might actually be kinda painful in the end... but a least you'd have some sense of direction!
(just paused to read an article about Buddhism and pain free births, wasn't that helpful in a philosophical sense but I gleaned one thing; *don't freak out* about labour pains and I have to admit that that's gotta help)

Anyway all that blah di blah was just a baby question of mine (pun not intended) and I guess everyone has questions about everything. Soo helpful. So last month I decided to go to a counsellor (someone fall over and die/scream or gasp) just to see what it was like -as it was free. It was like having a conversation, we didn't discuss anything big and it was a lady btw. We talked about fairly controversial topics like music and conflicting word views that you agree with (WHAT! somebody explain! ;) when someone on one side of the fence says blah di blah about singing and the other person on the other side of the the fence says blah di blah opposing their neighbours view... but when you analyse them they both make sense. Small problem) anyway we talked about stuff and one thing that I really got out of it was... don't worry if you don't get it right! well duh common knowledge... but for some reason I couldn't quite get into my head that you didn't have to know everything about God right away... I mean all he asks for is you to believe and receive that he loved you enough to die for you**... really? Is it that simple?! well apparently... But then life crashes in on you (btw I tend to be slightly pessimistic naturally) and you watch riveting videos about the promises in Revelation that are panning out in modern day Israel that urge you to study God's word (out of fear, I mean honestly who doesn't want to avoid bad stuff) but the problem is your bible isn't at all interesting and you want it to be interesting plus you've been raised on the book so you kinda know a bit. Ok a *bit*.
Anyway you go down the same old track of getting other peoples opinions and some say get to know God first then read his book and others say take a concrete pill/ build a bridge and get over it. Then you get really confused and round it goes again. Brilliant!
But life goes on... and you keep on struggling through it with highs and lows. So hopefully God will reveal himself more and somethings will fall into place before we're on our deathbed. ;D So I guess this is my little corner of rebellion. I hope it made sense. Probably didn't help one bit. But anyway it's a slice of a real teenagers life
-Tiffany

(and I manage to cover my favourite topics; midwifery and deep thoughts in one post and it's 11:10pm)





*Another unimportant, wanna be a midwife find;  apparently Vaginal Birth after C-section (VBAC) is safer than continued c-sections statistics for maternal death of VBAC mothers 3.8 out of 100.000 v.s the American populace of 13.4 out 100.000 (for non VBAC) also apparently Amish women have a lower c-section rate etc. read more here
**btw I only just realised that was all God asks for