A Life

Last night I was at a friends and we watched "Not without my daughter"
and the story goes that an American woman, Her Iranian Husband and their daughter go on vacation in Tehran for "two weeks". Due to family pressure and his Islamic faith her husband forces her to stay in Tehran, where she is required to wear a burqua etc. Long story short she tries to escape and he becomes very violent with her, many opportunities arise in which she could leave *by herself* but she refuses to leave without her daughter. In the end she finally gets back, but the thing that really hits home is that the story was true, and is true for many Western wives living in the Middle East.

This post isn't saying that all Muslims are women beaters, I'm very sure there is lost of nice muslims out there who love their familes. But the thing is there are lots of people being abused out there right now, regardless of religion, "race" or gender. Some people never get out of it and believe that this is what life is like. And when you think about that hard or what an intense movie like that,
You can't help but think... So much doesn't matter

So much... your own comfort... your house. If someone out there is hurting... if someone out there is dying inside, how can we keep living? How can we look at the world in the same way? How can we complain about our own problems when there is millions out there who have absouletely no hope? When everyday... every breath is full of pain? How can we begin to think of staying at home and getting married and having children, when so many children are abandoned, abused, starved and killed. How can we read books on how to be feminine when so many women are having the life crushed out of them? How can we buy a new couch or up grade some part in our house, when others go hungry?
How can we hog a hope to ourselves because we are scared of what others may think. How can we walk past people who are in chains?

But then we get locked up in our own little world, the world in which our utmost pleasure comes first. We forget what another's reality is like, we all are guilty of walking by and yes that "we" includes me.
So then I guess the question is how we break out of that? By taking a running leap at Jesus and making the jump?

The reason, I AM

This is the most true to me post ever well I hope so...


Lately I've been thinking; oh my goodness I'm about to turn fifteen, one 6th of my life is almost over -that is if I live till ninety, I'd rather not :)
But you see if you live to manage to live to 90 you have lived your life in thirds, 30, 60 & 90. And what I find scary is that I've already lived half of one of those, now you may be thinking 15 is that old but when you look it in that light you begin to panic....
                                                                                                 ..... Well that's only if you're me

I don't want to waste my life. full stop. Wasting a life is the worst thing I think you could ever do seeing as everyone has so much potential, so much ability. And the only way I can see of avoiding this is by following God, but the only problem with this is that He doesn't hurry. I am not a patient person, and sometimes this slowness annoys me because the other thing I'd most like to do is to do what He wants me to do while I'm still young and that means that I need to get a move on soon, so I can learn what skills I'll need for serving Him. And while he will take anyone with any ability it frustrates me that He does say "I want you to become a doctor". You have to find out the slow way.


I don't believe I have been called to write. (jaw dropping gab). I meant that. I have never dreamt of writing a book, even though I have thought it would be nice. Writing is actually a skill that has only just matured over the last two years, the years I have been a Christian, and while I've got the ability to do it, I don't want to. I think it is a talent that is only meant for now.
Many people, my Mother included think this is mad, that I am wasting a God given talent. But I believe God has called me to bigger things.

That is why you have heard crazy stuff about me wanting to be a midwife. And I can tell you it isn't what I've always wanted to be, I never knew what I wanted to be. But this has grown and though I don't know what it is like to "have a dream" I think this is pretty close to one. But I wouldn't want to be a midwife here, oh no -that is too boring...

Have you ever seen, lets say imagined a little boy walking along a dusty road. Wait a moment I need to paint...

Swirling winds twist and turn along narrow windy sand strewn road they beat against a boy, a boy is walking this street his cailco robe wraps tightly around his legs. His skin is dark, ebony black showered by specks of sand. He has dark eyes, deep and scarred and shot with sorrow, a sorrow so pained, a sorrow one so young should not know...

There is also a woman. But she is somewhere else. Yet sand still blows here, and the heat is suffacating yet many are dressed in black flowing robes that cover them from head to foot. It is a market and there is one particular woman and she is going home.
And it is in her home I first saw her. It was in a room but the surroundings didn't matter all that mattered was the pain there, I knew then that she had been beaten but more than that, I knew that this woman had never had a flicker of love touch her life and I knew she was dying, that she was being strangled, strangled by some unseen force, not pyscially strangled but mentally, emotionaly. And she was screaming for help, screaming like nothing you've ever heard before, but it was the scream of someone who has lost hope, of someone who knows help won't come. And oh how I wanted to be there, well not me as I didn't think I could help, but I wanted someone to. It was then I remembered that lots of people have this happen to them all the time. One just has to pray for them. And please they are screaming out.

I do believe I've been called to women. I believe I've been called to midwifery in the middle east to Muslims. I know what you are thinking.... the middle east..... wars.... certain death, but I'd rather be in the thick of it than lulling where all is peaceful where everything is "Ok"
I believe I've been called to midwifery because then you are reaching the women who are so often shut down in those countries, here you can reach the unreached, here is the worst danger, for here you are under their roof.


"Some wish to live within the sound of a chapel bell; I wish to run a rescue mission within a yard of hell."  ~ C. T. Studd


Miss Tiffany