I feel like writing something, my lovely guinea pigs.
Beware:
Should sailing through wind stop you?
The sentence scripted on the wall, held her spell bound, sailing through wind?
Would not slicing be a better word? She thought of the gail-force eastilys that rode in
across the waves, sail through that?
What could it mean?
She touched the writing, and gazed down the "hall" this place was strange, [hold onto your imaginations people]
This whole wall was covered with history, in fact the entire building was drenched with it.
"I wonder what this place was built for?"She whispered to herself "That it be crumbling on the outside, but not a day old in, how curious!
She walked along this wall toward the front of the room, letting her fingers trail on the cold stone. She was unaware that the letters and words she touched, were turned into the shining blues of a peacocks tail, behind her.Or that the same colour was filling her footsteps.Onward she walked, up on to a dias the tattered blue carpet crunching under each.She reached the top step and turned around and looked down at the long hall, she saw the grey walls and wooden floor all the way down to the open door in the corner, it was a long way, but she could still make out the willows bending in the punishing wind.
All of a sudden she felt cold. A gust of wind must have come in, she thought, as she rubbed her bare arms. She turned around to see if there was any good carpet to cover her arms.She gasped, the wall that had once been stone had turned into a giant sapphire curtain, spanning floor and ceiling.The wind caught it, and as it rippled the letters of the word Istenba appeared in burning blue.The world she saw jumped but her vision never refoucsed, she stepped back, she felt like she was wading through oil.
She lost her blance and kneeled over, slowly, because of the... air. The ground opened up beneath her,
a black abyss, she screamed and tried to stop herself, but she kept falling, the air was forced out of her lungs, everything turned black.
She woke up to the crashings of waves against a beach, she sat up slowly, her head spinning, it was dawn.
Aaaaaaannndddddd I have to eat tea
-Miss Tiffany
Beware:
Should sailing through wind stop you?
The sentence scripted on the wall, held her spell bound, sailing through wind?
Would not slicing be a better word? She thought of the gail-force eastilys that rode in
across the waves, sail through that?
What could it mean?
She touched the writing, and gazed down the "hall" this place was strange, [hold onto your imaginations people]
This whole wall was covered with history, in fact the entire building was drenched with it.
"I wonder what this place was built for?"She whispered to herself "That it be crumbling on the outside, but not a day old in, how curious!
She walked along this wall toward the front of the room, letting her fingers trail on the cold stone. She was unaware that the letters and words she touched, were turned into the shining blues of a peacocks tail, behind her.Or that the same colour was filling her footsteps.Onward she walked, up on to a dias the tattered blue carpet crunching under each.She reached the top step and turned around and looked down at the long hall, she saw the grey walls and wooden floor all the way down to the open door in the corner, it was a long way, but she could still make out the willows bending in the punishing wind.
All of a sudden she felt cold. A gust of wind must have come in, she thought, as she rubbed her bare arms. She turned around to see if there was any good carpet to cover her arms.She gasped, the wall that had once been stone had turned into a giant sapphire curtain, spanning floor and ceiling.The wind caught it, and as it rippled the letters of the word Istenba appeared in burning blue.The world she saw jumped but her vision never refoucsed, she stepped back, she felt like she was wading through oil.
She lost her blance and kneeled over, slowly, because of the... air. The ground opened up beneath her,
a black abyss, she screamed and tried to stop herself, but she kept falling, the air was forced out of her lungs, everything turned black.
She woke up to the crashings of waves against a beach, she sat up slowly, her head spinning, it was dawn.
Aaaaaaannndddddd I have to eat tea
-Miss Tiffany
2 comments:
One thing I noticed... "Onward she walked, up on to a dias the tattered blue carpet crunching under each...WHAT?" Just needs a word added. That's all.
~Esther (oh, yes--and Jasmin)
Did you see what I replied on Google+?
Here it is, if you didn't:
"Very good story!
"One thing I noticed that you might want to change in your next story (hope you don't mind me mentioning it!!! :| [okay, that's a half grin half sad face])--you seem to have the spirit world--dark, black things that do bad (was just about to say black!) things--in your stories a lot. To make the stories more interesting, I would suggest having different plots (i.e. having a story totally different, no black/bad things involved, but still teaching something). I know I probably usually have the same plots in my stories, too. But if we point things like this out to each other, we'll both end up with good stories, right???"
~Esther
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