This is the most true to me post ever well I hope so...
Lately I've been thinking; oh my goodness I'm about to turn fifteen, one 6th of my life is almost over -that is if I live till ninety, I'd rather not :)
But you see if you live to manage to live to 90 you have lived your life in thirds, 30, 60 & 90. And what I find scary is that I've already lived half of one of those, now you may be thinking 15 is that old but when you look it in that light you begin to panic....
..... Well that's only if you're me
I don't want to waste my life. full stop. Wasting a life is the worst thing I think you could ever do seeing as everyone has so much potential, so much ability. And the only way I can see of avoiding this is by following God, but the only problem with this is that He doesn't hurry. I am not a patient person, and sometimes this slowness annoys me because the other thing I'd most like to do is to do what He wants me to do while I'm still young and that means that I need to get a move on soon, so I can learn what skills I'll need for serving Him. And while he will take anyone with any ability it frustrates me that He does say "I want you to become a doctor". You have to find out the slow way.
I don't believe I have been called to write. (jaw dropping gab). I meant that. I have never dreamt of writing a book, even though I have thought it would be nice. Writing is actually a skill that has only just matured over the last two years, the years I have been a Christian, and while I've got the ability to do it, I don't want to. I think it is a talent that is only meant for now.
Many people, my Mother included think this is mad, that I am wasting a God given talent. But I believe God has called me to bigger things.
That is why you have heard crazy stuff about me wanting to be a midwife. And I can tell you it isn't what I've always wanted to be, I never knew what I wanted to be. But this has grown and though I don't know what it is like to "have a dream" I think this is pretty close to one. But I wouldn't want to be a midwife here, oh no -that is too boring...
Have you ever seen, lets say imagined a little boy walking along a dusty road. Wait a moment I need to paint...
Swirling winds twist and turn along narrow windy sand strewn road they beat against a boy, a boy is walking this street his cailco robe wraps tightly around his legs. His skin is dark, ebony black showered by specks of sand. He has dark eyes, deep and scarred and shot with sorrow, a sorrow so pained, a sorrow one so young should not know...
There is also a woman. But she is somewhere else. Yet sand still blows here, and the heat is suffacating yet many are dressed in black flowing robes that cover them from head to foot. It is a market and there is one particular woman and she is going home.
And it is in her home I first saw her. It was in a room but the surroundings didn't matter all that mattered was the pain there, I knew then that she had been beaten but more than that, I knew that this woman had never had a flicker of love touch her life and I knew she was dying, that she was being strangled, strangled by some unseen force, not pyscially strangled but mentally, emotionaly. And she was screaming for help, screaming like nothing you've ever heard before, but it was the scream of someone who has lost hope, of someone who knows help won't come. And oh how I wanted to be there, well not me as I didn't think I could help, but I wanted someone to. It was then I remembered that lots of people have this happen to them all the time. One just has to pray for them. And please they are screaming out.
I do believe I've been called to women. I believe I've been called to midwifery in the middle east to Muslims. I know what you are thinking.... the middle east..... wars.... certain death, but I'd rather be in the thick of it than lulling where all is peaceful where everything is "Ok"
I believe I've been called to midwifery because then you are reaching the women who are so often shut down in those countries, here you can reach the unreached, here is the worst danger, for here you are under their roof.
"Some wish to live within the sound of a chapel bell; I wish to run a rescue mission within a yard of hell." ~ C. T. Studd
Miss Tiffany
Lately I've been thinking; oh my goodness I'm about to turn fifteen, one 6th of my life is almost over -that is if I live till ninety, I'd rather not :)
But you see if you live to manage to live to 90 you have lived your life in thirds, 30, 60 & 90. And what I find scary is that I've already lived half of one of those, now you may be thinking 15 is that old but when you look it in that light you begin to panic....
..... Well that's only if you're me
I don't want to waste my life. full stop. Wasting a life is the worst thing I think you could ever do seeing as everyone has so much potential, so much ability. And the only way I can see of avoiding this is by following God, but the only problem with this is that He doesn't hurry. I am not a patient person, and sometimes this slowness annoys me because the other thing I'd most like to do is to do what He wants me to do while I'm still young and that means that I need to get a move on soon, so I can learn what skills I'll need for serving Him. And while he will take anyone with any ability it frustrates me that He does say "I want you to become a doctor". You have to find out the slow way.
I don't believe I have been called to write. (jaw dropping gab). I meant that. I have never dreamt of writing a book, even though I have thought it would be nice. Writing is actually a skill that has only just matured over the last two years, the years I have been a Christian, and while I've got the ability to do it, I don't want to. I think it is a talent that is only meant for now.
Many people, my Mother included think this is mad, that I am wasting a God given talent. But I believe God has called me to bigger things.
That is why you have heard crazy stuff about me wanting to be a midwife. And I can tell you it isn't what I've always wanted to be, I never knew what I wanted to be. But this has grown and though I don't know what it is like to "have a dream" I think this is pretty close to one. But I wouldn't want to be a midwife here, oh no -that is too boring...
Have you ever seen, lets say imagined a little boy walking along a dusty road. Wait a moment I need to paint...
Swirling winds twist and turn along narrow windy sand strewn road they beat against a boy, a boy is walking this street his cailco robe wraps tightly around his legs. His skin is dark, ebony black showered by specks of sand. He has dark eyes, deep and scarred and shot with sorrow, a sorrow so pained, a sorrow one so young should not know...
There is also a woman. But she is somewhere else. Yet sand still blows here, and the heat is suffacating yet many are dressed in black flowing robes that cover them from head to foot. It is a market and there is one particular woman and she is going home.
And it is in her home I first saw her. It was in a room but the surroundings didn't matter all that mattered was the pain there, I knew then that she had been beaten but more than that, I knew that this woman had never had a flicker of love touch her life and I knew she was dying, that she was being strangled, strangled by some unseen force, not pyscially strangled but mentally, emotionaly. And she was screaming for help, screaming like nothing you've ever heard before, but it was the scream of someone who has lost hope, of someone who knows help won't come. And oh how I wanted to be there, well not me as I didn't think I could help, but I wanted someone to. It was then I remembered that lots of people have this happen to them all the time. One just has to pray for them. And please they are screaming out.
I do believe I've been called to women. I believe I've been called to midwifery in the middle east to Muslims. I know what you are thinking.... the middle east..... wars.... certain death, but I'd rather be in the thick of it than lulling where all is peaceful where everything is "Ok"
I believe I've been called to midwifery because then you are reaching the women who are so often shut down in those countries, here you can reach the unreached, here is the worst danger, for here you are under their roof.
"Some wish to live within the sound of a chapel bell; I wish to run a rescue mission within a yard of hell." ~ C. T. Studd
Miss Tiffany
5 comments:
Oh, Tiffany! God bless you! I hope that you will be able to fulfill your dream. How exciting!
And not being a writer all your life? I don't imagine myself being a writer all my life, either. I have a passion to be a missionary in South America! I don't know why, but I've always had a special place in my heart for Spanish-speaking people. Of course, I'll always write--but maybe not as much as I am now. :)
Hold true to your dream, sister! I'm sure that if it is God's will your dream will become reality!
Blessings,
Esther
P.S. I think this would be a good article for JOJ....
I find it fascinating how God will more often shows us our passion by forcing us into a situation where we experience it, (like you seeing a baby born) rather than just discovering it our own way (like "I think I like writing!")
the only thing is I don't want to be known in my own country as a missionary. we are all called to missons no one should have a title.
Yes, very true. I was just thinking the same thoughts this morning....
~Esther
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