A strange life

Christianity

How are we meant to live with a name so mangled? This religion that has a history so marked?

We are so human…

Atheism vs Christianity google an article on either and you’ll see ragged back lashing from either side. Except the Christians claim to love them, Christians say it, but don’t seem to show it.

Where is Jesus?

I am a 17 year old girl living in rural New Zealand.  A backwater compared to the rest of the world I’m sure. I spend most of my time studying and working, realizing that this what is expected of a middle class woman and that I’ll probably be doing one or the other for the rest of my life.

How does this all relate? I’m not sure; maybe it’s a young person who’s trying to point out what is wrong in the world, what’s wrong with her religion, and what’s mixed up in the fact that in the academic world my opinion is nothing. That my life must somehow be the same because I don’t have enough money for a P.H.D. the only thing that lets you have an opinion.

That because I am a ‘good Christian girl” nobody is ever going to want my advice, my help, or my words.  That because I've never been raped, tortured, attempted suicide or been beaten I can’t legitimately help in things I believe need it the most. That no prostitute is ever going to listen to me because I know nothing. And maybe things are meant to be that way. Maybe I’ll live my life, get a job, get a house, get married have kids and die in a rest home.   

Or maybe there is a God out there who is bigger than my circumstances, who say it doesn't have to be that way. That it could be a lot more adventurous, a lot more giving and a whole lot harder.

Or maybe I’m meant to wait in a pew until I get my calling thrust upon me.

I’m pretty sure the guy who said give yourself as living sacrifice didn't have passive waiting in mind. Not that waiting is a bad thing. But for me it’s never really worked.

I guess what I am saying to myself and every Christian out there is we have to do something real. Regardless of the fact that someday the world will end. Regardless of the fact that goodness and heaven are somehow linked.  We have to find it in ourselves to reach out for the good of ourselves and the good of the world.

Rant over

Whistful dreaming

Imagine setting off for distant lands. To where the wind howls sharply, and snow ices the ground for months. Where no food tastes the same. Where languages are different.
Where you can walk right over the border and be in a different world.

Imagine that...

I mean New Zealand is alright in itself, it's all I've ever known. But what's over that mountain? What's across that sea? Ah, wanderlust...just wait and see

Being DF

Week three. Yes it's been three weeks since I started the no milk, no butter life (no cheese or cream either) And I haven't even blogged any of it. Naughty me. Oh well here it is, the trials of being DF

I guess having a food allergy is like being Introverted, you are more comfortable eating at home (read you EAT at home) and aren't comfortable eating out.

Our culture just doesn't cater for people with allergies, and finally I've got to see this from both sides of the fence - the cook and the intolerant.

So what is it actually like? I think it's quite fun and challenging, I mean for me one breakfast is not the same as the next, vegan pancakes to porridge, egg to smoothie -frankly that's just because I can't quite face the idea of having cereal and rice milk, maybe next week.

You get to try all sorts of things like Hot chocolate rice milk, and DF chocolate. You get quite good at reading labels, and refusing food (which is quite an art believe me)

The first week was pretty hard, I couldn't help thinking of cream cheese, and dairy full puddings, it didn't help that two days after I started we got give lots of yummy food, half of it had dairy in it -funny how these things happen. I have to admit I cheated once or twice, I just got so fed up with being restricted. 

The second week was easier, I didn't feel like I was missing out, I found ways of getting round stuff. I started drinking tea again (coffee and rice milk don't mix) In fact I got up to drinking 4 cups a day - which is no recommended by the way.  But it is fun trying all the different flavours, I've found some favourites -like strawberry tea. And the nice thing is most people have it.

So here I am at week three, feeling as though I could actually live like this (until the next cheesecake drifts past) I don't miss milk, I don't miss butter, cheese (non fancy stuff) doesn't get to me anymore.  I can eat a white sauce made up with water and not bat an eyelid... don't ask about the amount of flavourings though.  It's funny how quickly your taste buds adapt.

The only thing I don't like about it as that I'm eating a lot more gluten, cause that's easy to whip up. Oh well I have another week to play with, and then comes the biggest test of all - finding a balance

Alternative Cooking

Lately the famous 'THM diet' has taken our community by storm...
It's a primarily weight loss diet, in which you separate your carbs from your fats, eat mainly carbs at one meal, then mainly fats at another. It's also sugar free and has limited gluten.

Attracted by the sugar free idea, Mum and I looked into it. Not that we need to lose weight, but both of us have several allergies, that this 'plan' could accommodate.  Anyway a couple of 'E' meals and 'S' meals later, I decided that it wasn't so much for me, I had a lot of air in my stomach, and would always be burping. Mum burps a lot when she is reacting to something, so I tried to find out what was wrong. Turns out that I might have been a bit extremist with my eating, after eating a few wheat crackers when I wasn't mean to, my tummy stopped complaining.
Now this isn't a THM critic report, I like many of the ideas in it, and I'm sure it works for many people, it just doesn't work for me.

Anyway one of the things I learnt from it was how to cook without flour, by grinding up coconut flakes and rolled oats. So I began experimenting, next thing I was making almond milk and substituting constantly. We also have a Vegan staying at our place at the moment which is also stretching my cooking skills, but I'm loving it, I would never have found out how delicious cauliflower sauce is, or how scrumptious vegan pancakes are. It's so liberating going into the kitchen and being able to make delicious vegan food without even realising it!

Vegan Pancakes              
1 cup rolled oats
1 cup flour (use coconut or nut flour for GF)
2 tsp Baking p.
1 tsp Guar-gum (probably optional, it basically thickens)
1 banana, or any amount of fruit
cinnamon (optional)
vanilla
3 tspns sugar (or nativa)
1 tspn salt
1 Tbls margarine (optional)
Rice milk (or any nut milk, or regular milk)

Mix dry ingredients together, then add the wet ones. This mixture is meant to be quite thick, but you may need more liquid. Cook in a pan like regular pancakes.


This recipe is pretty flexible as you can see, I mean, I added my leftover smoothie the other day and it tasted really good. Also I've found if you add an egg or two it makes the thinnest, fastest cooking pancakes ever. This also tastes really good with whipped coconut cream and cooked apple.  It's also really filling, you only need three before you're stuffed -and I don't get full easily.

P.S I'm going to try DF soon, which will be an adventure for this white-sauce loving girl, I'll try post some of my recipes.
-Tiffany

Sewing patternless

Yup I'm doing it! I'm trying my hand at designing a jacket for the winter. A little scary, but awesome  -I can make whatever I like, with in the constraints of the material of course.
The jacket isn't completely patternless, I did start off with a 'base', remember this?

Well I'm basing it off this, because I want it to have some flair, not like an ordinary jacket. Plus it's the only jacket pattern we have (last I checked) So after lots of researching to decide just exactly what style I wanted, and lots of astronaut looking sketches

 I decided just to start, so I cut out the pattern in a large size (to leave room for draping etc) joined some of the pattern pieces together, as I didn't want the white biby thing that is in the above picture. I sewed a mock up in calico and spent ages in the mirror trying to pin it to fit. Then I decided to cut it in half so that I could add more length, cause as you can just see it didn't come down over my hips. So last night I added a strip and sewed it in between, like this (excuse the phone pictures)

(The right side is the top half by the way)

from the outside it looks more like this:

As you can see it's only half of it, and the bottom picture has the top on the left side instead.

Now I am starting to unpick the vertical seam so that I can cut it out on in the material (hence the lifeless half pictures) 

The material

And that's as far as I've gotten, I'm hoping to have finished unpicking today and get onto the real thing, and eventually the decorating (really looking forward to that part :D )

But I still have to design the hood, collar, and sleeves yet so hopefully it all goes smoothly :)
It'll probably be dystopian/post apocalyptic in style, using lots of zippers and old buttons for character :) This blog is definitely turning into a sewing/writing one.

-Tiffany 

Updating the last update

Oh wow! Excuse my terrible blog posting - the last real post was a new years one!! Oh dear, so much for wanting to post more :/

So what have I done lately? Got my licence, school work and contemplated sewing again :) My favourite place to haunt at the moment is the dreamstress (she runs a challenge to make a historical costume once a fortnight ) dreaming about getting some costume done in a fortnight so that I can make something. Well it's only been dreaming as I haven't got the patterns or material to pretend to start :/
Although I have started fixing a bodice of on my Regency dress that I made years ago -the bodice length is way too short, and on a Regency dress that looks hideous. Got so far but don't know if I have any material left -lol.
But even if I had a costume I don't know where I would wear it -Costumer problem #1. So I was thinking of making some undergarments, something that would go underneath the stuff I have. But corsets are kinda out of the question as I don't have half the material, although I have drafted a elizabethan pattern :P
Today we went through the linen cupboards and Mum gave me a few sheets, so now I have lots of ideas buzzing round my head, mostly including part silk table cloths. Ah oh well.

Anyway I have to have lunch, hopefully I get round to posting again soon :/

The Courageous Girl

a short while ago I was talking with a friend of mine, in fact we had all been in the car and were talking about strengths when suddenly she said "Last year was really hard, I tried doing all this stuff and I didn't seem to be 'good' at anything, all my friends did really well at one thing or another and I was just average, so I decided that I'm good at being average, and that's all I might ever be good at, that I shouldn't expect to much of myself..."
Wow. How often do you hear that? How often do you know that someone isn't killing themselves to be something? True it's sad that she has such a low opinion of herself that she can't see that she is good at a lot of things.  But imagine what the world would be like if people excepted their capabilities, that could be humble about what they can and can't do. Anyway there's just a little glimpse of a real princess, who I wish I was a lot more like

Happy New Year etc etc etc

I'm not much for writing cheesy cliche posts about Christmas -I'm sure your dashboard is already full of them. But I will mention that we had heaps of fun with our German friends; trying lots of different flavours and sweets. We had a good time, but as I said I won't bore you.

New Years was so much fun, partying at a friends place, watching despicable me 2 with lots of friends, good food, sparklers and fire-works at midnight. Getting to bed at 1:30am ;)
Excuse me for a moment, I'm just about to tuck into a '9:30 breakfast' Haselnuss-hazelnut german chocolate, it has four little pieces in each packet and tastes delicious!!!

Apart from that we haven't been doing much lately, only recovering from the hectic sewing we did for the wedding (28th December last year ;) But we did go swimming today in the waterhole -cold. The weather hasn't been very summery lately :/

As for my writing, I haven't officially done anything. Although I've started on a new story: heehee naughty me! It's far more paranormal than anything I've ever written (which isn't very paranormal at all) I'm a little afraid of it as the beginning is a little spooky. Oh well I've got at least 2 more books to write before I seriously start looking at it. Yeah. At least two more, I've decided my fate as an author is going to be writing more than one book, because I just can't not write.

Oh and by the way I've dyed my hair red... not very red, more red velvet because of my dark hair but anyway I like the subtlety. I decided to go with commercial dye as it was cheaper (henna costs $30.00!) and a friend was able to do it on me. I've finally got used to looking in the mirror ;)

We've also been feasting on berries; cranberries, gooseberries, raspberries, strawberries, boysenberries and cherries. Very good, Especially when you get to have yoghurt, cream and raspberries on your cornflakes (best breakfast ever!!)

So as you can see we've had quite a lot of fun, how about you? what have you been doing these holidays?

Life

My life. Right now.. very interesting, very two faced. One day right one day wrong. Everything up in the air, not thought about, everything used without a thought. Confusing. Is this how it's meant to be? How is a black and white seeing person meant to survive without being judgemental? how do they stay open? I just want to know what to do. How to fix my life. How to be happy. Not much to ask? Apparently. Yeah I know life isn't kind. And I know that it's meant to make you stronger. But what about being free? What about not having to worry? Yeah I know that God is meant to fix that. But then how come it's so hard to get close to him? how come you are always drifting back and forth? And I know I don't have time for this, for crying and weeping over myself. There are people out there who are ripped in two and bleeding. Who are trying to cover it up.

How come I want to heal stuff and instead I am shredding things to pieces?

Nanowrimo year 2

Heeheee I just realised I haven't done an update on what happened to my writing! Well it didn't get very far, 9k but hey, I wasn't even planning on doing it this year, so I guess it's more than nothing.
This is my second year on the book "The Chased" which is now 43 pages and I've already started revising with a published author/friend. In other words I've worked myself it too a hole, so I've reverted back brainstorming and pinning ;D gotta get inspiration somehow.
One thing I have learnt is that this story is going to take it's time, no 51k in a month for me :/
I'm actually missing just plain writing and making up stories for fun, and not worrying about the details.  I know, that sounds bad, I'm meant to enjoy writing this,  I'm not meant to worry about what other people think. But it happens regardless... oh well I'll stop moaning, sorry all you non-writers for all the mumbo-jumbo
-Tiffany

sewing again

Yes already! You'd think I'd had enough after Oamaru's flurries. Well no, today from 10am to 5pm I was hard out sewing. (With some professional photography in-between ;) ) I was helping with the flower girl dresses for a friends wedding. Well there was actually five of us all set along the extended table working all five machines. It made quite a sight, blue, and lots of purple satin strewn across it, mingled with threads, ribbons, pins and at least three quick-unpicks. Our goal was to have seven dresses done before the end of the day. It was intense I tell you, Samara managed to finish two dresses, the rest of us completing only one, my excuse? Ahh strange shoulders and confusing fabric -mostly my fault :) Oh well, it was quite a lot of fun, and I got some of the material to make a dress for myself - so I guess I'm not nearly finished with sewing...*

Tiffany

*I wrote this yesterday but only just managed to get publish

Oamaru Heritage week

The train (er van) arrived back at my house last night
sooo I'm back!!!!!

And was it fun! True I did absolutely no writing, but I don't really mind anymore, I might get 10k done this year but that doesn't matter. Although I had two radical ideas that will greatly change my book - oh well, I'm not sure if I'll use them, we'll see.  One of them is changing the setting to some place down south instead of Waipara North Canterbury, but that will include heaps of research.

I got my jacket done in plenty of time, I was sooo glad I wasn't sewing last minute. Although strictly speaking its not finished according to the pattern, but I didn't want to put lace on the cuffs as it looked fine without, so that's all good.

here's a couple of pictures from the trip

this is the tiny little house that we stayed in,  it was sooo cute the front part there is the lounge/kitchen, the house had a double bed, a loft with a single bed, a bathroom, and tiny laundry in the hall way. It's meant for three people at the most. We had 9 people there one time, for getting ready and for meals (which we had on the deck) and 6 sleeping over night -and I tell you it was a squish!

the view of Oamaru from the deck

my jacket all finished

eating ice cream in Oamaru, all dressed up in one of Mum's bridesmaid dresses (adapted of course)

I got badly sunburnt that day

So that is a little snippet of what happened, now I'm off to have lunch 

Write... Sew.... Sleep...

As I said in the last post this is pretty much my life this November..

Well not so much the writing, I've decided to make my goal to plan something rather than to write myself into a hole. I'm doing the same story that I did last year, and although I haven't done much,its quite fascinating seeing how much my characters have changed.

 I'm focusing more on my sewing as I've only got till Thursday to finish my jacket, but it isn't too bad as I've only got to pop on the buttons, ten to be exact, which I'll probably end up doing tomorrow - hopefully I'll have some pictures to show you later

And well sleep, lets just say not much -after all a writer needs to tank up by reading ;)

I'm looking forward to having the next two weeks almost free (Ikr almost) so hopefully I'll be able to stick my head into writing, and try a few sprints because hey I'll  still want to try to get to 30k, oh well, we'll see.

-Tiffany

A flurry a whirlwind

ah,  I'm pretty much panting. My life is sooo busy right now, and well it's mostly my own fault. I'm doing Nanowrimo again, trying to push out 1,000+ words a day, to end up with hopefully more than 30,000 words by then end of this month. hmm add that to frantic sewing for Oamaru heritage week, a week of baby sitting, secretary-ness, hand-writing and counting every. single. word. Also lack of inspiration, procrastination, and life and you end up with 8,245 words on day 10 (when you're meant to be at 10,000+)  Just sad just plain sad... so any way thats my list of excuses for not blogging in aggessss   ;) and I did try and find a picture of my sewing for you but it seemed to have run away :\  life
Oh and by the way and completely out of context - The Shack is a REALLY good book :D

Getting it right

Hi,
I'm writing again ;)
Actually I've been away for two weeks... it was pretty fun. And I just want to share with you a real crazy out of place, God moment I had at confrence. We went to Manifest Presence confrence last year and it was really good last year, but this year I had a little bit of a reserve about going. I was panicing that it wouldn't be worth coming and that I might believe a lie that the teachers unwittingly told; something un-Jesus like. And on the first night I was trying to rid myself of all this prejudice and Daddy/God suddenly put into my head that he is truth (well duh) but not only that, we don't have to rely on people getting things right for us, we can go straight to God for an answer. Ok I know that sounds really dumb and a Home-schooled Christian should know that stuff off by heart. But my questions weren't small and some how I'd got it into my head that some questions are too big for God and that I had to ask other people to see whether this was even remotely wise. (not that I'm promoting ignoring people, but I've learnt that you can overdose on human reasoning)
Anyway there was this peace that I didn't have to get it right, that I could believe a lie and that it honestly wouldn't hurt God, I mean he may have a learning curve in store for me, but he's got this even if I tear my world apart he won't panic!!
What a relief

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace.  In this world you will have trouble.  But take heart!  I have overcome the world.” John 16v33